I never quite understand it, yet I see it every time. Au pairs like other au pairs from their country- and in many cases- their country only. It is simply a reality of the au pair program.
I can't tell you how many times I have talked with or hosted an au pair that only wants to be friends with someone from their country. It was true of Germans, Brazilians and Latin Americans. The problem is, this is very limiting and it often leads to au pairs having a hard time making friends, adjusting to the area, and ultimately adjusting to their experience in the United States. Yet, in most cases they seem fixated.
Knowing this is how a typical au pair operates, I always spend time doing the following pre and post arrival (and suggest you do too!)
1. I check upfront about the demographic make-up of my au pair cluster or "community". If the au pair will be a lone soldier from the country, this will always make her transition harder.
2. I also spend time upfront trying to help my au pair make cultural connections. I will suggest churches, local groups, dance places, etc to help my au pair find people from her home country.
3. I also try and introduce my au pair to other new au pairs in the area and ideally other new au pairs from their home country.
The key is to be aware and recognize that a national connection is really important to most au pairs when they arrive. They want the comfort of home- the language, the food and the culure.
Like everyone, an au pair needs a best friend -someone they can count on, have fun with and laugh with. This is critical to know when selecting and onboarding a new au pair. Do not under-estimate the impact of national pride and language.